Why? Because finally this series is over and I no longer feel able to watch for Business Matters and give opinion on their professional capabilities. I have exhausted my comments on their inability to listen, their failure to engage, their shocking maths skills and their utter belief in their abilities, be those founded or not.

So my last opinion piece on this matter way be somewhat sexiest, a smidge inappropriate, with only a dabbling of business sense but please forgive me. Here goes…

The task was to create their brand, with a website and a full campaign including a promotional video (oh no not another Herbert!?) to convince Lord Sugar they were the girl for him.

He said Luisa needed to be clearer and Leah had to convince him in an alien environment.

They could pick their team and Leah’s direct approach bagged her Francesca, Uzma, Alex and Myles – bang bang bang she went firing through the phone calls, leaving Luisa with Neil, who she spent too long chatting with which lost her other choices and left her with Jason (how ironic given past episodes), Zee and Natalie.

What followed was pinky fluffiness, caricatures, sugary words, tears and agreeable manners, and shock horror that was from Luisa! She appeared to have finally listened and learnt through these 12 weeks that people work smoother, and tasks go better, when approached in a certain manner and that she would get further that way. Hallelujah, finally some good came of these painful business process weeks and Bakers Toolkit is born, with her evolution complete.

In sharp contrast Leah was snippy, over direct, borderline rude and self-obsessed. Even when she was told her clinics name of NIKS (SKIN backwards) conjured up inappropriate images (nicks/cuts/slashes), and Lord Sugar said she should have called it Doctor Leah she didn’t waiver. The quiet non-business woman (worm) turned this week, and by heck it paid off. Mind you she’s had a change of heart about the name – after she has her mitts on Lord Sugar’s £000’s! Good Girl. Already ‘listening’.

Leah’s direct focus, total commitment to her plan, and drive to succeed, really showed. Yes Luisa was as committed but at the end, as Nick Hewer said when you fail to plan your pitch you plan to fail. Luisa planned by icing her cakes, where Leah drilled hers again, and again and again.

Highlights of the pitch itself – Francesca’s ribbon dance, Luisa stumbling over her words, Leah’s frozen smile, and tears from Luisa; pure television gold.

How did it end? A strong brand, but a wrong brand for wholesale, a personable style and refined thinking for Luisa verses a weaker brand but a strong style and a stronger lucrative proposition. Luisa’s worse case is to make people fat, it is much less risk and more akin to what Lord Sugar has done before. Leah’s extreme is to scar them for life, it is high risk and something never ventured into previously by him. Quite a choice for Lord Sugar eh!?

In the end I feel it boiled down to whether Lord Sugar would get 100% of his investments attention and he didn’t feel Luisa would give that as she still had three others businesses to support. ‘It’s the devil in me’ he said when he agreed to take the risk and hire Leah.

So Barbie won, being an expert in her field and her professionalism won us over. Bratz in contrast, whilst ‘lost’, actually gained respect, I believe, from the viewers, she showed she could change and adapt, although is still way too sugary and twee for me.
And so ends this year’s #TheApprentice #Phew

I am glad it’s over, but please let me say I have been honoured that you have read and commented on my pieces here so I would like to invite you one final time to come share your thoughts and opinions with us about the whole series, or this final episode at @BizMattersmag or follow us on twitter @3domSolutions. Thank you and good bye

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The Apprentice –The Final week

Sadly Jordan never made it beyond the first three minutes of one of his and as for the others, we all have a pretty good idea what first impression they would make – this was going to be an interesting episode for sure.

This was where they were going to be grilled, background checked and cross examined within an inch of their lives. There was no time now for game playing. Their secrets would be exposed. Francesca’s boast of a £5 million turnover and whether Jordan actually owned the idea he had, were being scrutinised by Claude Littner (current Chairman of Viglen), Margaret Mountford (Lord Sugar’s aide), Claudine Collins (Managing Director of MediaCom) and Mike Souter (publisher of the free men’s magazine ShortList). I watched with my hands over my eyes for large parts as each and every interviewer ignored the ‘interview tips’ and ‘how not to interview tips’ I have given in this publication before! There were sexist comments, ageist comments and leading questions galore. It was cringe worthy but also fabulous viewing.

This week was the first time the business plans would be dissected and considered in full. Claude stated one was ‘crap’ and Margaret’s eyebrows considered another and found it wanting, giving Alex’s eyebrows a run for their money.

Leah was credible throughout; she knew her numbers down to the cleaner’s salary, she admitted how much she had grown throughout the series, and was cool calm and collected through her grilling’s. Her plan was to open a series of facial aesthetics clinics. The conclusion was she was competitively priced, had done her homework and so was very credible. In a week where John Inverdale’s ‘not a looker’ comment has been the talk of the media she was selling just that, with her looks and smart brain to back it up.

Neil had an inconsistent plan of getting people to sell their own homes but then trying to get estate agents to buy into the idea and the website. Even after five people, including Lord Sugar, questioned him and asked for plan B he stuck to his idea; maybe naively or maybe arrogantly. Either way he was described as the right man with the wrong plan. Gutted doesn’t come close to how he reacted.

Francesca played fair throughout this series. She didn’t like game playing and was true throughout; hers was a plan to open a new branded series of dance studios but Lord Sugar felt whilst her plan had legs, she didn’t inspire or set the world on fire. Yes she was a self-starter but there was a question as to whether her plan could be scaled up.

Luisa was told she was manipulative and stubborn. That she was a game player; none of which she denied. I feel she even attempted to play games between interviews being the only one talking – maybe trying to psych them out? Her plan was part retail, part wholesale selling baking goods to small local companies. The feedback echoed what we had already seen; she was a handful, streetwise, very bright but underneath it a spoilt child. Her plan wasn’t fully formed but viable although Lord Sugar wasn’t going to spend ‘100s of £1000 on hundreds and thousands’.

Leaving us with Jordan; Claude said he had no right to be in the process. He was feeding on someone else’s idea, on someone else’s business. He was a ‘parasite’ and this was the interview that was terminated before it had begun. Why? Because Jordan failed in a basic HR/legal requirement – get your name on the Articles of Association when setting up your company and have a shareholders agreement. He didn’t. He was selling something that wasn’t actually his. That smug smile went in an instant. The panel concluded he wasn’t an entrepreneur rather someone who fed off others ideas. Sad but true. Shame we didn’t know these important facts sooner and someone with a better more credible plan didn’t have a chance to compete for the final instead?

So the outcome? A ruthless Lord Sugar fired Jordan first for selling something that wasn’t his. Followed by a father like ‘disappointed’ firing of Neil who was a great candidate had a job been on offer but the proposition was not so good. That left three ladies – meaning Lord Sugar’s new business partner would be a woman for sure. This process had done more good in the 11 week series for getting a woman in the board room than all the current government policies and directives put together!

So it came down to Francesca not being able to carry through her ideas against Luisa’s risk free cupcake plan, or Leah’s risky cosmetics (although they would make more money that way as Leah was quick to point out!). Francesca walked leaving two very different ladies in the final.

So will feisty, manipulative, spoilt Luisa or cold, professional, super smart Leah get the £250,000 cash? And what do you think of Jordans’ stupid, fool hardy mistake of not having the basic legal business blocks in place? Come share your thoughts and opinions with us at @BizMattersmag or follow us on twitter @3domSolutions

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The Apprentice – week eleven

He told them they had to ‘smell what they sell’ but Endeavour must have had blocked noses given their poor performance this time.

In an interesting turn of events it was back to week one with boys verses girls. Project Managers were very quickly appointed – Myles for Endeavour and Luisa for Evolve – no surprise there given she runs a retail empire already. Nick commented that she would therefore ‘smash it’; such a fabulous phrase to hear from his lips. I did wonder at that point whether the negative press reports this past week would slay her much like they had slain Alex the previous week but they didn’t, and she lives to see another week. Oops sorry that was a spoiler and I should have warned you.

Both teams were asked to choose some goods, sell them on a market stall in Spittlefields Market and then the next day select what worked and sell that in a shop outlet instead. The one with the greatest assets would win. The girls ran at this task with great focus and commitment. Luisa I hate to have to admit controlled the task, controlled the team and stuck to her marketing plan of high volume, low cost goods of hats, scarfs, leggings and latterly dresses.

The boys however selected home-ware goods – and pretty awful ones at that! A ceramic glove that I have yet to establish its actual use, a ceramic note pad (what’s wrong with paper or dry markers?) and candles that took Jordan from 9am to 1pm to choose and deliver on a one day task! Instead of considering their market (again) they selected some random products that were medium to high end ticket in terms of price and that strategy failed them.

The boys stall was laughable in its scarcity; it was unenticing and bare, in sharp contrast to the girls stall which was piled high and the girls themselves strutted about in their own products giving buyers a clear idea of what the products would look like and providing visually something that your average ‘joanne doe’ on the street could aspire to.

When transferring the goods to fixed premises the boys would have done better to have set up a boy band called ‘Casa Unique’ than a shop of that name, as one tweeter exclaimed, with Neil and Myles using their ‘assets’ to the greater good of the task like the girls. Sadly though they didn’t. The final nail in the Endeavour’s coffin was when Jordan was sent to choose a high ticket item and returned with a vase that I can only describe as ‘interesting’; had my 12 year old brought it home from his Design and Technology lesson I would have been really proud he had tried so hard!

So the upshot was that the Girls finally won a task and off they popped to a ‘pop up’ restaurant for a slap up meal. The boys instead popped into the board room. I would have to say in this series the board room discussions have become more of a sales pitch by the contestants/candidates than ever and as such it’s painful to watch them plead with Lord Sugar. Such was the emotion this week I truly thought Jordan was about to throw up on camera he was gagging and grasping his water glass so much. Mind you that was his own fault – he really should have shut up, and moved on (or SUMO as @TheSUMOGuy calls it). He very nearly managed to talk himself out of the contest, much like Leah had the previous week. The old adage of ‘less is more’ is one to heed in business I have learnt.

So the final five will be whittled down to two next week through my favourite part of the process – the dreaded ‘interview’ with Lord Sugar’s most trusted advisors. The ‘you are a parasite’ comment at a faceless contestant is enough to whet my whistle for next week I can tell you!

So the final five are Francesca (feisty and a fighter), Jordan (small and mighty), Leah (mostly silent but determined), Luisa (sugary and girly) and Neil (manipulative and yet persuasive). My money would be on a Neil versus Luisa final if I was a betting girl, but I suspect Jordan may be a dark horse?

So who is your money on for the final? Come share your thoughts and opinions with us at @BizMattersmag or follow us on twitter @3domSolutions

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The Apprentice – week ten

The teams were tasked with coming up with an original idea for a ready meal and the one who sold the most orders to Asda, Ocado and Morrison’s would win. Alex was put in charge of Endeavour by Lord Sugar and after a small wrangle between Francesca and Neil, Neil took the reins for Evolve. Interestingly Luisa took herself out of that battle; maybe weary from the previous week’s take over skirmish. Mind you she also took herself out of the kitchen, but more of that shortly.

Endeavour started with Alex offering meal suggestions, whilst the rest of the team tried to bring him to heel with market concepts, target audiences and food styles. Alex instead continued to run away with ideas, again demonstrating his naivety and inexperience in a business world. He told Myles he was going with his geographical idea of ‘foods from around the world’ but when challenged by Myles did a U-turn and went with the Dangerous Dinners, healthy horrible food. Why? Because Myles was a father and he wasn’t. Hardly the greatest reason. He and Myles went into product design and delivered dark scary packet covered in skulls more in tune with either Halloween or in a cleaning cupboard at work on the poisons shelf marked toxic. Yes the kids loved it in the market taste tests but the parents were very clear in their dislike.

So how did Evolve fair? They went with a fusion theme aimed at students with funky packaging. The food was to be powerful and exciting so they sent the one person in the team, who told them she didn’t cook, only heated ready meals, had no taste ability, and ran an entertainments business to do it instead of the person who knew food. Poor Francesca. Luisa made it clear at the start she didn’t think the kitchen ‘sexy’ enough for her skills, despite owning a food business. She gave Francesca over the phone a clear list of ingredients with precise quantities to be used, half of which Francesca didn’t know what they were; hardly the act of someone who couldn’t cook savoury foods as Luisa claimed. It was clear Luisa had the knowledge but abdicated it leaving Francesca to flounder. ‘Can you burn chicken’ came Francesca’s plea.

Karen Brady thought Luisa had stopped playing games and may emerge as a savvy business woman now, but sending Francesca in to fail was a play if ever I have seen one. The result was a meal Francesca hadn’t tasted and was bland, bland and dull according to the student taste test feedback.

Luckily Neil managed to turn that on its side and convince the buyers they would improve the flavour before full production, despite his equally bland and dull pitch. Smiley Mylely, Leah and Jordan all took a turn to pitch to the various buyers with varying degrees of success. Myles battled on through Alex’s eyebrows and noisy cooking skills distracting the buyers, and Leah was constantly interrupted by her team. Maybe that’s where they made their second mistake? Jordan’s pitch was great –should he have done them all?

In the end it was Evolve’s Jamaican chicken with Thai noodles fusion and the promise of more flavour that won them the task. Francesca was visibly relived given her fellow team mates had tee’d her up to go. Neil told Lord Sugar he had sent her ‘to do the tasting so that they had a good tasting product’ – not sure he could have gotten another ‘tasting’ in there but I’m sure he would have tried. Even Luisa gave a last ditch attack that she had given Francesca as much flavour indication as she could down the phone – well maybe you should have been in the kitchen then eh!? Was she scared or felt safer with Neil to support her? I’m still not sure why she didn’t cook?

So into the board room went Alex, his eyebrows, Leah and Myles. Myles was magnanimous in accepting his part in the defeat. He acknowledged he was partly responsible for the packaging, as was Alex and shared he felt he had had to manage Alex through out the day, and I think he probably did. Someone had to focus Alex after all, and stop him running about making snap decisions with his ‘grasshopper brain’. Leah nearly talked her way out of the door but in the end shut up after ‘dad’ Myles intervened and told her to take heed of Lord Sugar telling her to be quiet, and Alex and his eyebrows were bid a fond farewell. Those brows will be missed, although Alex himself won’t be in this household.

The final few remain. Let battle commence. As Myles said they will be judged now on character, and business plans not just on the task at hand. Bring it on.

I’m still voting for Neil as the best of an *interesting bunch (*bad!). As we near the end do you agree that Neil’s the man to win the £250,000 investment, or is Luisa the woman for you? Come share your thoughts and opinions with us at @BizMattersmag or follow us on twitter @3domSolutions

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The Apprentice – week nine

With the teams being mismatched number wise Jordan was asked to switch from Evolve and join Endeavour. With that move he also finally stuck his head above the parapet, or balcony to maintain the theatrical analogy, and volunteered as Project Manager (PM). Although I have to say Alex describing himself as the Christian Grey of the Valleys was taking the literary references a step too far!

Endeavour decided to go for a young professional target; why? because they could relate to it. It is concerning that they choice this group for those reasons as it severely limits their potential markets. But anyway they chose it, and still managed to get it wrong; the name of ‘CuffLinks’ being just the starter of erroneous things to come.

Evolve had it all to play for after yet another win last week. Jason stepped up to the PM plate as he had run a dating website at university and was known as Cupid. They selected the silver haired market of the over 50s – they wanted elegant, classic and yet cheeky and fun but after some market research they seemed to ditch that in favour of ‘Friendship and Flowers’ a more boring, staid and almost funeral like approach. I’m sure they all have (or had) parents, why didn’t they consider what their parents would have wanted?

Sadly Jason never stood a chance with Louisa as his side kick, she nipped at his heels with most appalling manners (to steal Nick’s description in the boardroom), chastised him like an old married couple, bullied and undermined his ability and confidence to such a degree Jason was forced to abdicate as PM; a first in the history of the Apprentice. Jason was ever magnanimous and gracious – described it as a courageous action to ensure team cohesion, and accepted defeat in the jaws of Louisa’s constant nagging. Neil was clever though and did take charge of the resignation process and thus dissolved himself of responsibility or decision requirements as a result. Crafty.

So the end results? Endevour’s pitch was led by Smiley Mylely – his 1000 watt smile was turned to full strength with his professional delivery. Sadly though the ‘corporate’ looking website did not connect with the fun advert staring Alex’s eyebrows (they really ought to get a show of their own after this series). There was no cohesion, and their character in the advert of ‘Herbert’ failed to make an entry on the website. They had the right market but failed to deploy their ideas fully.

Louisa appointed herself to present the marketing plan for Evolve, and managed to deliver her pitch with a cutsie ‘hello everyone’ whilst waving her hands as she entered, in a twee voice and whilst rolling on the balls of her feet. Presentation skills Nil. The feedback was that the concept was too safe, positioned for the over 80s not over the 50s, and too bland.
Whilst Endeavour failed as much as Evolve in this task, with Jason delegating his heart out and not actually delivering anything himself, they were given the benefit of the doubt by Lord Sugar and sent on their way, leaving joint PMs Louisa and Jason to argue whether Francesca or Neil should be brought back into the board room. Francesca lost.

I would have to say though that even in defeat Jason remained a true gentleman. He did not take the opportunity to attack Louisa and her style, instead criticised her most elegantly, and when questioned by Lord Sugar held his own and turned the attack into a great defence. It was the nicest firing think I have ever seen ‘Jason you are a nice fella, and it’s with regret that you are fired’ came the call. I admit now I was praying for another double eviction – Louisa is truly dreadful and needs to go, but sadly Lord Sugar did not oblige. Maybe with Karen Brady requesting to follow Louisa next week she will be finally rumbled and gone? Here’s hoping.

I think the one’s to watch remain Neil who was mostly honourable in his approach this week; even supporting Jason in confirming Louisa’s bullying when he could have so easy just turned the knife, as many of the others would have, and Myles, quietly calm, if a little over smiley. Alex needs to address whatever issue it is that the others just cannot get over and trust him and Leah needs to speak out and louder; she said the website was too masculine and boring but they didn’t hear or listen. So next week it’s creating a ready meal – let’s see how much of dog’s dinner they can make of that!

So I ask you again who are you watching and as we near the end who do you want to win the £250,000 investment? Come share your thoughts and opinions with us at @BizMattersmag or follow us on twitter @3domSolutions

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The Apprentice – week eight

My main question was why would you employ this bunch of people to improve your staff’s communication, listening and collaboration skills when they have yet to demonstrate any such skills and abilities themselves?

So how did events unfold? Leah was placed in charge of Endeavour. She opted for a history themed day despite the vote being for the school days one the boys on the team had pumped for. She over ruled them; for once going with her gut, but this was where she started to go wrong from the get go by over ruling the team and alienating them. However at least she had the common sense to see that theme wasn’t going to work when she met with Barclays Retail who asked her to focus on listening skills, communication and improving team work. Out she walked of the meeting and in she walked to an army themed day instead. What the?? How is that any of the above? That’s about shouting, telling, ordering and drilling? Oh well.

They pulled together a series of activities such as blind boules and quoits, marching and sumo wrestlers. All marshalled by Colonel Alex all dressed up in full army regalia and camouflage paint – cringe worthy. The saving grace was Neil and Myles trying, and succeeding, in making every event meet the business objectives brief. They worked out for each task how it ticked the relevant box and made sure it delivered. Well done boys.

Francesca as the other project manager, again appointed rather than volunteered, struggled from the start to engage and specifically to keep Louisa from trouble making. She had to endure Louisa’s speech about how much she disliked ‘corporate world’ and had little time or respect for it; not a great team player to have when it’s a very corporate client of lastminute.com you are working for.

Lastminute.com’s philosophy is to deliver a 5* service for a 3* price and they asked Evolve to follow suit. Sadly Evolve’s school themed day failed to deliver. Whilst it was described as fun it didn’t tick any of the business objectives requested – namely creativity, collaboration and communication. Instead Evolve tried to shoe horn their theme and activities to fit the client’s objectives; such an arrogant approach but indicative of their behaviours to date. This arrogance was further demonstrated by Endeavour’s Leah, who turned up late to meet the CEO of Barclays and failed to apologise!

Why neither of the teams regrouped properly to review the clients requirements and re-task the day after those initial meetings I can only guess at. Francesca stated there was a fine line between cost and quality and yet managed to deliver a shabby do-it-yourself day – it’s a bit like my business partner who hates heights agreeing to teach everyone to skydive. She has never done it, would never do it and so would deliver something so far from what is actually needed or asked, for its laughable.

The motivational piece at the end of each day was delivered in two very different manners, Evolve spending cash on a professional and Endeavour using Neil to deliver the speeches. This was an opportunity for us viewers to see Neil at his best so far. Yes he tried to take over from Leah, but in the end pulled together for the good of the team and delivered a rousing speech that the client went out of their way to commend to Karen Brady. One to watch with interest I think. It was this additional £600 cost though for Evolve that lost them the task and got Rebecca fired for her lack of input and the fact Lord Sugar hadn’t seen anything in her so far.

Louisa managed a lucky escape having been taken back into the board room by Francesca and lambasted for slagging off a corporate world in front of three very corporate judges. And no Louisa, people don’t dislike you because of the way you look, and I cannot believe you actually think that let alone said it out loud! Please!

Talking of looks though the episode had an exciting subplot running through it – the battle off between Francesca’s eyeliner making her evil eyes more evil, Jordan’s childish competitive smirks and Alex’s on-going eyebrow drama, complete with the shared waxing experience.

I’m finally starting to see some potential come through in the dwindling numbers though and can actually feel myself becoming more animated in this search. But in the end I am left with this question – if you were Lord Sugar who would you want to go into business with? Come share your thoughts and opinions with us at @BizMattersmag or follow us on twitter @3domSolutions

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The Apprentice – week six

As Nick Hewer said ‘Here in the land of the sand dune, the camel, and the Burj Al Arab, size really matters’ but in sourcing a flag a fraction of the size needed Endeavor’s Project Manager (PM) in Zeeshaan demonstrated his dictatorial style and inability to listen. As I watched this unfold I thought – ‘ah it’s another failure to listen slant I need to write about’ but then my 12 year old piped up beside me ‘mom he really doesn’t like girls does he?’.

Interesting, I thought, and settled back into my chair and watched that drama unfold; but more of that later. What happened in this task of negotiation skills vs treasure hunt?

Myles offered to be PM for Evolve. He asked the team for their thoughts on the list of eight items they needed to source in ten hours at the least cost for the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in Dubai. He seemed to support them throughout the task; he listened, he offered guidance, gave further instruction and then he allowed his team members to make decisions. His failing was to wait for a flag to be made on ’dubai time’, i.e. nearly an hour after they said it would, thus losing valuable moments to go and source something else. Jordan was given a chance to show some leadership and backbone for a change, and Louisa determined an Oud was not a perfume, rather a musical instrument. Something I feel fundamental to them succeeding at the task. Oops I have given away the outcome. Actually that doesn’t matter; yes they won by approximately £90 but it was the dynamics and the issues bubbling within Endeavor that made this episode.

Zeeshaan put himself forward and bulldozed them into accepting him despite Leah’s attempt to put herself forward. He knew Dubai like the back of his hand he said, but was wearing gloves, as Lord Sugar stated, such was his absolute failure in this task. It was bravado and balderdash. His PM’ship was delivered and judged as the cockiest and least popular so far. He was overly direct and allowed a personality clash, if you can call it that, to overshadow the task at hand.

In the business world, as in the real world, personality clashes can be awkward. However in business it is about rising above that and accepting you do not have to be friends, you do not have to agree, but you absolutely must put aside those issues and move forward. Zeeshaan did not do that, and to a degree neither did Leah once the bit was between her teeth. She tried to overrule him but to her detriment backed down when it mattered and that nearly caused her downfall in the boardroom. Neil bought a modern not a traditional Kandura, and Kurt got the flag measurements completely wrong contributing to the teams loss. But did Zeeshaan take them into the board room? No he took the only two women on the team. Natalie for ‘doing nothing’ and Leah for ‘doing something’ just not the something he wanted, or was it as the ladies suggested just because they were the women. It appeared to all watching that the errors lay with the boys.

Allegations of having a problem with women, being unable to cope with women challenging him, being rude to women, never saying please or thank you to them and being chauvinistic were leveled at Zeeshaan in the boardroom, and I would have to say he didn’t defend himself. Instead he remained adamant he had brought them for the right reasons and in his smugness appeared patronising. In the end Lord Sugar drew it to a close stating Zeeshaan’s mouth outran his abilities – what a fabulous turn of phrase, and one I will be pinching for a blog I’m sure, and fired him.

As Karen Brady said ‘Saying it and doing it I’ve found in business are two very different things’. Maybe Zeeshaan, will consider that in his departure whilst Natalie and Leah put it into action next time?

So the lessons this week – mathematics (again) is critical; when you need to buy a flag of a certain size, make sure you pay attention to get it the right size, listening skills; actually listen and don’t talk over them and brow beat them, and finally when you take someone into the board room make sure it’s for the right reasons or it may back fire on you, as it did with Zeeshaan.

So what do you think? Come share your thoughts and opinions with us at @BizMattersmag or follow us on twitter @3domSolutions

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The Apprentice – episode five

The task was to stock a farm shop in the city; source the produce, stock and display it and then sell to make the biggest profit. Instead of which they reverted to type, jumped on what they knew, and created a shake bar and a jacket potato and soup outfit; clearly not a farm shop in sight, not in its true sense.

Call me an old-fashioned ex southerner ‘up north’ but up here a successful farm shop sells meat, fresh vegetables and produce, home baking and the odd bulk buy products with short shelf lives. I have never bought a shake or a soup from a farm shop and nor would I expect to do so.

This weeks task was dominated by a complete lack of understanding of the task at hand, the inability to listen once more and the two project managers demonstrating just how ruddy rude they really could be.

Louisa’s tone was patronising at best, but appropriately ‘bullish’ when trying to guide Evolve through the muddied fields of buffalo meat products, whilst Neil’s direct approach was not ‘watered’, or milked, down at all when he talked over them ignored attempts to engage with him and make alternate suggestions.

Instead he allowed Kurt to highjack the task for his own means – that of showing Lord Sugar his business idea; milkshakes. To say Kurt was focused is an understatement – bombastic and boastful would be better descriptors.

I know I keep banging on about it but yet again maths played apart. No budgets were given to assist the sub teams, and Alex looked like a buffoon (or buffalo) when he failed to calculate the mark up and best price for milk in front of the supplier, even after boasting he was from Wales (like that made a difference?) and he would dress like a scarecrow if needed (each to their own I guess, but not sure how that would have helped? Sadly we didn’t get to see that!)

Instead the only dressing up were the girls pigtails and their extraordinary heels when trying to sell farm produce; because after all that’s realistic right? Killer heels in the farm yard?

When the results were announced Jordan’s ‘get in’ marred his otherwise impressive performance and he was suitably chastised by Lord Sugar for behaving like he was at a football match. His cry was for Evolve’s success with the shop ‘Buffalocal’ who pipped ‘Fruitycow’ to the post by a mere £91. However Louisa’s smug look was wiped off when Lord Sugar told her she was lucky and had she team to thanks for that result. I have to admit I didn’t want either team to win to be honest, I felt neither deserved it as they didn’t fundamentally met the remit – it wasn’t a farm shop as we know it.

So Neil entered the boardroom with Uzma and Kurt after a clear division in the team – half saying he was a good leader and the other half saying he gave no direction or budget, that they sold only half the number of shakes Kurt had said they would and none of the produce itself. Uzma was told she could have been absent for all the contribution she made, for the third week (did they not see how hard she worked at wearing those sky high heels while selling a tray of blackberries?!) and Kurt was told his attempt to pitch his idea to Lord Sugar had miserably failed though the lack of sales he delivered.

He may have put his neck on the line and tried, but sadly he failed; end of.Uzma was dispatched for failing to do… well anything. Stating in the car we hadn’t seen her fire was as great an example of ‘too little too late’ as I have seen for some time.

Neil’s cockiness and Kurt’s over confidence live to see another day, another episode. Isn’t it time we had the girls step up and lose a chap? Surely they can stop bickering and pouting long enough to show us what they are really capable of? Otherwise the final teams will be all men. Women are apparently supposed to be better at listening and engaging on a people/personal level. Let’s try a bit more of that and maybe they will succeed? So what do you think?

Come share your thoughts and opinions with us at @[ilink url=”http://www.twitter.com/BizMattersMag”]BizMattersmag[/ilink] or follow us on twitter @[ilink url=”http://www.twitter.com/3domSolutions”]3domSolutions[/ilink]

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The Apprentice – episode four

Fortunately the chair idea stood on its own legs, whilst the box was wheeled off stage, centre left. The boys enjoyed a jaunt up the O2 Arena as a reward for winning the task by a whopping 3042 units sold under Jordan’s leadership, whilst the girls degenerated once more into a slanging match and emotional fall out within the board room.

For a third week it was the actual product that was the girls main failing. Like last weeks beer debacle they produced something that just didn’t ‘work’. Even the market research they did told them that, but they ploughed on regardless.

Rebecca tried to tell them her concerns but project manager Natalie just didn’t want to listen. She appeared to want to please everyone and absorb all the ideas into one. Was it a box, a lap tray, a chair, a storage unit, a trolley, a teas maid or a kitchen sink? (I made those last two up by the way)

All of the above it seemed. This lack of clarity was confusing and switched off the potential buyers. Argos, John Lewis and several up market retailers turned down the opportunity to supply their army blue ‘tidy sidey’ on wheels, or flower planter as it was also rather cruelly referred to as!

I have to say though that Leah, Francesca and Rebecca gave convincing and professional sales pitches. They engaged their audience, made eye contact, told the benefits and also provided the unique selling points with conviction, even though they themselves weren’t that convinced. Luisa in contrast walked in with a girlie ‘hiya’ and remained informal and immature in her attempt, and failed.

The boys in their turn continued to grow and develop building on previous weeks experiences. Their sales style created a professional first impression and the orders followed. Sadly Zeeshaan, despite trying his hardest, failed to close a sale of his own again.

Jordan made a good and organised project manager who clearly listened and this kept his team on board. He was encouraging, positive and funny – “we want a sales orgasm – three yeses’ came his call to action! The only thing that blotted the presentation, and potentially the skyline (according to Nick’s comment of it being ‘wide’) was Alex’s bottom blocking the buyers view as he constructed the chair in front of them. Very clumsy.

Yes the design itself for the boys wasn’t perfect, the chair seat was too high and the structure needed to be sturdier but the sales rolled in. I fear Alex over compensated on the seat height after telling the diminutive Jordan he needed ‘someone of average size’ to help with the dimensions, and mathematics again came into play, and again let the candidates down as they tried to work out the measurements. As I said last week – maths is important and here we have a clear example of why.

I did laugh out loud though when Karen Brady built the girls up in her feedback only to crush them again – cruel but great viewing. “They loved your pitch, they loved you guys… but they hated your product” came her words taking the girls from the brink of elation thinking that had won the task, to the depths of despair when they released she was teasing and that led to Natalie to taking Uzma and Sophie into the board room with her.

Sophie’s defense? “I don’t do design, I don’t do manufacture and I don’t pitch” so what do you do Sophie? Uzma’s was to continue to blame everyone else and pass the buck, with Natalie in the middle screaming and pointing to detract from her failings. Her main one? Not listening for me – so what is listening? Listening is about seeing something from the other person’s perspective. She didn’t do that, she didn’t try, she instead focused on keeping everyone happy and failed at that too.

However Lord Sugar must have decided that Sophie’s lack of, well anything actually, was unworthy of his £250,000 and fired her. Game over for Sophie. Yes she may have kept her dignity and her class, as she stated, but she also kept any skills she had under her bushel.

Here’s hoping mixing up the teams next week for the farm shop challenge changes the dynamics and allows more of the skills we have started to see grow out from under the muck of the bickering and bitching. I’m actually quite excited by that thought, what do you think?

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The Apprentice: episode three

They were tasked with creating and selling a brand new flavoured beer. Tim Stillwell was appointed project manager (PM) for the girls team Evolve, as his business plan idea involved drinks, and Kurt Wilson PM for Endeavor for the same reason. What followed was an interesting mix of convincing sales techniques, incomprehensible location decisions, curious team task allocations and poor basic mathematics.

I chortled when Kurt selected the sub team to make their chocolate and orange flavoured beer. He selected one person who didn’t drink beer, another who didn’t like beer and one who couldn’t drink it for religious reasons!? Not the best selection maybe? And in the real world this could have left him open to religious belief discrimination and harassment claims! Then to add insult to injury he then made the tasting decision for them when he wasn’t even there. ‘I had to make a decision and it’s done’ came his rude response down the phone to the production sub group’s question as to why an amber base had been selected not the stout they were preferring.

Evolve seemed to get their groups together quicker and cleaner. The production team tasting was great and decisions made easily. The rhubarb and caramel beer however was sadly spoilt when they struggled with calculations, dilutions and ratios to transfer the taste test to production, wasting a significant quantity of beer in the process. Tim stated ‘sales are our forte not maths’ but this showed just how important basic school mathematics classes really are; those two facts are not mutually exclusive in my opinion. Francesca stated she only had GCSE maths, but Richard Branson left school at 15, as did Michelle Mone and they manage just fine. It was a poor excuse. School mathematics is much maligned but this shows how important it should be.

Location choices were interesting with a quiet beer festival, a two hour dash to a busier festival, or much like last week’s selling of the cats in China Town debacle, Evolve’s fatal error of trying to sell beer in a ‘wine’ bar; clue’s in the name right?

The selling techniques to the trade though were much more effective with Rebecca and Leah presenting clear and convincing pitches. Sadly Endeavor couldn’t say the same with the inexperienced Jason jumping in and undermining the pitch in play. This was further hampered when the boys turned up without with a single sample for potential buyers to taste. Also, call me old fashioned but, I’m not sure calling your colleague a ‘dosey pleb’, or a ‘silly shit’, is totally appropriate either but it makes great viewing!

So the outcome? Despite their best efforts to the contrary the boys won. Sad I thought as the girls’ (+ Tim) efforts seemed truer to the task. Clearly the location and the mathematics had failed them. The expected cat fight in the board room, from both the boys and the girls, led Lord Sugar to accuse them of failing to organise a ‘piss up in a brewery’ and to damn Kurt for using Zeeshaan as a taster as he was ‘ drier than a cream cracker in the Sahara desert’ – great quotes thank you Lord Sugar.

After further discord, and almost tears from Rebecca Tim was fired showing that whilst location, location, location was just as important as mathematics it was the business basics that were once more missing. As Lord Sugar said, if they couldn’t sort the basics out in week two so help them, and he suggested they got their acts together.

Last night showed there are glimmers of potential from the candidates now and I am keen to see how these develop, to see who actually deserves the 50:50 investment opportunity with Lord Sugar. Yes it’s a tv show, yes it is fabulous entertainment but let us not lose sight of the fact it is real life, for them at least, as there is £250,000 investment money at stake and these people are potentially business decision makers of our future.

One thing is for sure though, love them or hate them I suspect more will now watch the show having read the hype and seen the feedback after these two shows, and we will all have an opinion on it, thankfully not all the same – to pinch a French expression ‘vive la difference’.

So great viewing once more for me, what did you think?

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The Apprentice – episode two

So what’s the task? Was anyone clear? To shift a container load of goods… surely there’s more? Luckily for this year’s hopefuls this task is as straightforward as they come. Essentially they had a multitude of tat to sell including lucky cats, cat litter, leather jackets and bubble wrap.

The boys got off to a good start. Realising that few places are open to business at 4am, they headed straight to a casino in the hope of shifting the lucky cats. The girls, meanwhile, chose to wait in Chinatown in the hope that Londoners love a Chinese takeaway for breakfast.

One suspects with reality shows, that the longer the series runs, the bigger the character of the selected participants become, and last nights episode, certainly didn’t disappoint, some big character falls are on the way! One by one, out the egos were rolled.

Jaz Ampaw-Farr likened herself to a machine that can process information faster than anyone else. Zee looking like he didn’t need 250 grand likened his business acumen to Napoleon’s, one hopes he can evade his Waterloo then and not be exiled on a South Atlantic Island! Luisa believes she has the sex appeal of Jessica rabbit but with Einstein’s brain! Big bold statements we just know will unravel just as the ego’s surely do over the coming weeks. Talent shows are made all the more enjoyable when witnessing the contestants wallow in self deluded belief before the inevitable character assassination and sacking by his Lordship. And we love to see it. But its the twists and turns of this format that make it that you can never be sure who’s for the chop and when.

Lord Sugar says in a recent interview that he believes there is no hunger anymore, no desire for people to rise above the chaff, and yet we see hunger and desire here in this first episode, so is he still trying coach this disaffected nation off our sofas?

In first episode then we see the two teams of wannabees wandering around london, trying to sell barrow boy tat from the contents of shipping containers, easy we cry at our TV sets. The boys endeavoring to off load their tat win triumphantly by a huge £58 margin, Lord Sugar rewards them with a slap up feed courtesy of Fortnums and Masons, the fate of the girls bodes not so well. The shaky, badly received and cringeworthy motivational ladies team leader Jaz Ampaw-Farr, the lady who is half machine, perhaps seals her own fate by refusing to take on board her teams suggestions. She does herself absolutely no favors in front of the Lord, the outcome is inevitable the finger is raised and fired she is, the correct decision made. Not a bad start one down, but as I can’t help feel I wouldn’t employ as single one of them in my business, I’d be happy firing the lot at this stage, lets hope the worthy candidates emerge.

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The Apprentice: Episode one

I thought to myself ‘what an interesting bunch of candidates’ as I did some research before the episode last night. I can see why there was all the hype about how they looked with their shiny hair, perfectly made faces and waxed eyebrows – and that was just the men! My, didn’t they all scrub up well in their bio shots on the BBC website! But as Nick Hewer apparently said it would be dull if they weren’t colourful, attractive characters – my words, paraphrasing his.

So I was thrilled having watched it to see the usual self-proclaimed, self-obsessed, arrogant, opinionated back stabbers were back on our screen! From the get go they were off. From the boys talking over each other and Neil taking over everything he could, to Jaz patronising her team and talking to them as though they were inferior children. Fabulous I thought. Let’s go…

As Lord Sugar said in introductions ‘actions speak louder than words’ and actions are what they would be judged on. It’s just a shame that once again this series has started with the business actions being sadly lacking and the looks and words being the total focus.

There were the boys talking over each other and not listening, the girls not communicating at all, erratic head movements from Tim and Alex’s eyebrows vying for a show all of their own!

Best bits so far? Leaving Zeeshaan hanging with a crushed ego when he called ‘high five’ after a sale and Neil replying ‘Really?’ Brilliant! Or the girls lucky cat wave in the back of the car? Frightening these people are apparently the future entrepreneurs? Or what about Tim’s SUMO moment when they had been told they had won the task, when he tried to tell Lord Sugar he would change. NO Tim Shut Up, Move On. Dear me.

Worst bits so far? The lack of basic business skills. I feel great incredulity that so many allegedly intelligent, business savvy people can monumentally miss the business basics needed. How on earth were they selected? I would expect them to have at least the following understanding to be successful in business but as the examples show they didn’t even have these abilities

• Ensure you are speaking to the decision maker – not the chap who loves leather
• Listen to people – especially when it comes to names. Neil is called ‘Neil’ Alex, not Liam.
• Find a need – try not ignoring the half Chinese Sophie who was trying to tell them selling Cats in China town was like selling coals to Newcastle.
• First impressions count – how off-putting were Tim’s erratic head movements, how distracting Alex’s eyebrows and how odd some of the girls pouting lips? One tweeter on my time line described them all as making her flesh crawl – an extreme reaction but in sales it’s just such things that can lose a sale.

By then end of the task I did think my business partner’s husband had the right idea – he said why don’t they just turn up and offer the full contents sight unseen for £2,000? Or maybe they should have allowed a five minute view from the doors like they do on the American TV show ‘Storage Wars’. Job done, they can all go home. Mind you that wouldn’t be such great viewing though eh?

So what did you think? Has this episode gripped you sufficiently to watch the next one or frustrated the heck out of you enough to turn off?

Come share your thoughts and opinions with us at @[ilink url=”http://www.twitter.com/BizMattersmag”]BizMattersmag[/ilink] or follow me on twitter @[ilink url=”http://www.twitter.com/3domSolutions”]3domSolutions[/ilink]

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The Apprentice Week One: Business as Usual

If ever there were a group of people more guaranteed to dig the dirt, reveal the truth and find any hidden skeletons, than Lord Sugars interviewers, then they are well hidden. The final four candidates must face some of the hardest questions ever put to them, and with the pre-interview research ensuring no stone has been left unturned, there is very little that they can hide.

As each candidate sat before an interviewer, you could feel the tension, see the sweaty palm syndrome kick in and almost hear their heartbeats go up a notch but rather than go into detail about each interview I’m just going to gloss over.

Jade’s business plan was picked apart by, the Simon Cowell of business reality, Claude Littner, unsurprisingly considering that it lacked any real forecasts, contained no costings and demonstrated that any investment would be gone by month six.

Nick’s idea was considered by nearly all interviewers to be pointless. He has a proven track record when it comes to technology companies but their rate at which he moves on to new ones showed a lack of commitment and focus.

Ricky was pulled up on his personal statement rather than his business plan or idea. The Ricky that we saw in the interviews is a mere shadow of his cocky former self but that statement, written before the gruelling twelve week process came back to haunt him, with Apprentice favourite Margaret Mountford raising a more than quizzical eyebrow with the statement referring to Lord Sugar as an old dog who could be taught some new tricks.

Tom was the big surprise when it came to the interviews. He quickly admitted that he had never been through an interview process before and yet he seemed to do a better job than anyone else. He was honest, answered each question rather than dodging anything and his business plan was praised as the best they’d ever seen! His business proposition however, was deemed risky by Mike Soutar, the CEO of Shortlist Media.

On their return to the board room, Lord Sugar briefly discussed each business proposal then said goodbye to first Jade and then Nick before being genuinely torn between both Rick and Tom’s ideas. He could see potential in both but in the end it was the safe option that won and Ricky was crowned winner of the apprentice 2012 taking away a £250k investment and a new business partner in Lord Sugar.

Did he make the right decision? Only time will tell.

I think he was right to immediately dismiss Jade and Nick but Richard Alvin, Managing Director of Capital Business Media, owners of Business Matters, disagrees with me saying ‘I think Lord Sugar was wrong as I’d have invested in Nick’s recipe fulfilment website, if he took on board my idea to tweak it slightly’ Whilst I agree that the idea is innovative I don’t see it being used widely and struggle to understand how money would be made other than via advertising revenues and possible commissions.

I found Ricky’s idea to be fairly boring in comparison to Tom’s and at this point we really should weigh up the historical facts. yes, Ricky is passionate and looks like he could sell ice to Eskimos, I have no doubt that he will be successful at some point but Tom already has a proven track record within the industry his business plan is based on.

The company he currently owns turned over in excess of £1 million after it’s first year which is seriously impressive.

If I had been in Lord Sugar’s position, I too probably would have taken the safer option in Ricky and as the great man edges ever closer to retirement I can understand his decision.

I suppose the only real question that remains is whether Ricky’s business will go ahead as he planned it or will Lord Sugar change it entirely like he did with Tom Pellereau. His original idea was a chair to help with back pain but since the partnership it’s been all about nail files.

Lord Sugar’s success has been founded on taking big risks and ensuring they came off so given his decision making over the last two years I’m left wondering if he’s lost some of his risky edge.

Is Lord Sugar now only taking the safe options that he’s presented with or will next year see a break in what is fast becoming tradition?

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The Apprentice 2012: Winner revealed!

When the phone call arrived and Nick commented that it may be their last early start, Ricky replied with ‘Maybe for you’.  I rate Ricky as a contender but it’s that side of him that reduces his likeability.

Lord Sugar challenged them with creating affordable luxury products and appointed Adam as project manager for Phoenix, leaving Sterling to choose their own. Is this Lord Sugars way of weighing up Adams strengths and weaknesses as he approaches the final hurdle? Ricky took charge at Sterling and both members of the team (Ricky and Tom) decided that male grooming was the market they would succeed in.

All of Adams team agreed that confectionery was the way to go and instantly began delegating jobs to his team members Jade and Nick. We all thought Adam was struggling with coming up with a brand name until Nick threw his suggestions into the mix… ChoCho Choc. No comment needed. I really liked Adams suggestion of The Chocolate Bar and the concept behind it but it seemed to be brushed under the carpet by Nick. Both of the boys headed to a luxury chocolate shop to research the market but spent most of the time filling their faces.

Ricky managed to finalise his product range and create each of the products before even managing to create a brand name. Tom suggested Modern Gentlemen which Ricky agreed upon but I think it was a case of desperation rather than inspiration as time was moving along swiftly.

I thought the packaging design for Rickys grooming products resembled a cheap knock-off aftershave found in nearly every UK market. There was nothing luxury about it at all but they went ahead anyway, seemingly happy with their decisions.

Karren desperately tried to pin Adam and Nick down on the prices of their products but they seemed confused and said that the product would definitely be £2.99 or £4.99… not quite specific enough boys!

Each shop opened and welcomed a selection of potential customers as well as a few mystery shoppers who were actually industry experts smuggled in by Lord Sugar.

Let me ask you something… Would you allow a nervous apprentice candidate, nearing the end of the competition to get anywhere near your jugular vein with a razor? No neither would I! But low and behold a customer willingly lay on a chair and allowed Ricky to shave him in the shop. That is the definition of brave for me.

Sweet Things, the confectionery shop opened by Adams team was a bustling hive of activity. The shop created the right atmosphere and environment for the brand and looked to be a roaring success!

As the morning of the pitches dawned you could really see the separation that has occurred in the house. Each candidate seems to have distanced themselves from their housemates. Especially Nick as he took his breakfast outside to eat alone.

Watching Ricky and Tom prepare for their pitch was fairly dull but watching Adam was hilarious, even more so when he accidentally revealed the notes written secretively on his hand. It took me back to my GCSE days…

Yet again Ricky was pitch perfect! He is amazing when it comes to presenting and answering questions under pressure. Tom even managed to present himself fairly well too and the only area they fell down on was the branding. The experts agreed with me that there was nothing special about the bottles, packaging or anything else other than the boys enthusiasm and knowledge.

Adam was clearly very nervous and really struggled to present anything at all. It was as he had finally realised just what was at stake and he fell to pieces. The only person really injecting enthusiasm and confidence into their pitch was Jade. The boardroom revealed that Ricky and Tom had won the task and they were sent away leaving the losing team sitting and awaiting Lord Sugars verdict. On their return the following morning I couldn’t help but notice that yet again Adam was very quiet. He seemed to have lost his spark this week and when questioned on his strategy and decision making he seemed a little lost for words. His fight had left him although he did come out with a great line when questioned on his strategy; ‘Everyone mentions the word strategy when things start going wrong.’ This is so true! I mentioned this a few weeks ago and in my opinion, Adam has hit the nail on the head.

Jade and Nick seemed to give their reasons for staying in the process clearly and passionately but in the end I think it was Adams lack of spark rather than his performance this week that made Lord Sugar fire him. I have to say I was shocked and qute sad to see him go. I was really hoping for a Ricky/Adam final but alas it was not to be.

So with the final four being Ricky, Jade, Nick and Tom, who would you put your money on? I have to say at this point it has to be Ricky but it all depends on the outcome of not only the interviews next week but also their business ideas and business plans. Good luck!

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The Apprentice Week Eleven: The Final Countdown

We were slightly ahead of the game with the knowledge that Stephen would be leading the way for team Stirling and we soon discovered that Jade would take the helm for Phoenix. Each team were challenged to find the best high-end deals to be placed on a luxury daily deals website. The key words here are luxury and high-end which, unsurprisingly, went completely over Stephens head.

He sent Ricky off to attend pre-arranged appointments whilst he and Gabrielle went along together. At this point you have to wonder what on earth they said to prospective clients as many of them had no idea that they were expecting to negotiate such high discounts, one restaurant owner refused any discount whatsoever!

Jade pitched the deals website to a Michelin starred restaurant and all was going well until neither she nor Nick could do some basic maths. The restaurateur was clearly annoyed at their lack of mathematical skills as well as their inability to use as calculator and left them to it. Once he returned, they did manage to secure a pretty decent deal for the website.

Stephen, obviously working towards the high-end, luxury brief, sense the sarcasm, managed to secure a few deals with a fish pedicure company and a dentist for some whitening treatments. His only saving grace seemed to be Ricky who managed to secure multiple restaurant deals even if it did mean Ricky having to do a great impression of the Vicar of Dibley. Three restaurants, three portions of scallops and Ricky continued to smile.

Stephen also managed to be more condescending and patronising during this weeks task than at any other point. He ensured he went with Gabrielle as, in his opinion; she’s unable to work on her own and needs to be kept on a short leash. The cheek of him! This is the man who judging by last weeks task can’t tell the difference between French and English. Give me strength!

Stephen openly admitted that he is unable to handle the pressure or stress that goes hand in hand with such a short deadline and it seemed that Ricky had to keep motivating him. In fact, it appeared to anyone who had missed the beginning of the episode that Ricky had been the project manager.

The boardroom revealed that Stephens team lost the task with just over £6000 worth of sales versus Jades £14,000. Team Phoenix were sent off for afternoon tea while Stirling returned to the boardroom to face the wrath of Lord Sugar. Finally there appeared to be some passion in the boardroom! Over the last few weeks it’s been a fairly dull part of the show but this week changed that entirely. Stephen and Ricky went head to head when it came to placing the blame for the failure of the task. Ricky kept his cool and presented his case articulately whilst Stephen became flustered, more stressed and got progressively louder. Surprise, surprise, Gabrielle sat quietly at the end of the table hoping the focus would remain diverted.

Lord Sugar pointed out that whilst Ricky’s deal had secured the team £6000 worth of sales he had made some vital mistakes that potentially hindered the end result but it was Gabrielle’s lack of spark that led the finger to point at her. Just as we all sat looking at our television screens wondering how on earth Stephen had managed to avoid the black cab for yet another week, Lord Sugar turned it into a double firing and Stephen left with his bottom lip sticking out.

For a minute or two it seemed like Ricky was about to make it a hat-trick but Lord Sugar let him fight another day.

Only two tasks remain… who is this year’s winner? Will it be Ricky and his calm collective exterior, Adam with his quick wit and market trader charm or one of the others that we all seem to forget as the week goes on?

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The Apprentice, week ten: The Real Deal

We are constantly being bombarded with ‘Made in Britain’ slogans and with this being the year of the Queens diamond Jubilee, the idea to re-launch a quintessentially English product is extremely well timed. The English wine industry expected the Apprentice candidates to devise a marketing campaign ensuring that English Sparkling Wine became a serious competitor in the Champagne market. British product, British backing, British support.

From certain viewpoints it would appear that the candidates were a little confused by this task and weren’t entirely sure what they should be doing but as time went little pieces of the puzzle began falling into place for most of them. Of course when I say all of the candidates I’m excluding Stephen.

When trying to come up with an English branding Stephen suggested calling their product Grandeur. A great name… if it were a French wine. Come on Stephen get a grip! With comments like these we may have found the UK’s next stand-up star, let’s face it, it’s not his first laughable suggestion.

Project manager Tom decide that he and Adam should head off to the wine tasting sessions, Toms reasoning being that even though he works within the wine industry, he mainly deals with imported products. Both men really got into the swing of the tasting sessions, so much so that they seem to have forgotten that the idea is to spit out the excess wine rather than drink it. Adam took a fit of the giggles and Tom struggled to put a sentence together, whilst it looked like great fun it’s hardly a great example to set for your team. At least this week Tom could use the excessive wine tasting as the excuse for his constantly sleepy appearance.

Ricky Martin, loathed as I am to say it, yet again provided us all with some excellent viewing. His pitching skills are seriously good and he appeared to have the panel eating out of his hand until he unveiled the video which had been put together by Jenna and Stephen. The brief for the video was ‘quality, quality, quality’ it would seem that Jenna and Stephen heard ‘tacky, cheesy, cringeworthy’. The video alone lost them the task and so Ricky returned to the boardroom with Jenna and Stephen.

Lord Sugar listened to each of them plead their case; unfortunately we also had to listen to each of them plead their case which in some cases was quite painful. Jenna accepted full responsibility for the video, this annoyed me greatly. I may not be her biggest fan but I believe there were two people in the room directing the advert. Stephen, being the gentleman that he is, sat back and allowed Jenna to take the entirety of the blame. Who said chivalry was dead?

Stephen appears to be able to talk a good game yet he never seems to deliver. His argument is that he has won the majority of the tasks he was involved, including the task he led, but I suspect that the praise should be directed towards each of his team mates on the previous tasks.

Jenna was shown the door after Lord Sugar made his decision to fire her.  He struggled to choose between both Jenna and Stephen but I can’t help wishing he’d gone the whole hog and fired Stephen too.

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The Apprentice Week Nine: Best of British

I’m no art buff but I know what I like. Urban art doesn’t quite attract my attention although I can see the appeal in work by the infamous Banksy. When this weeks task was revealed I honestly thought I would be bored to tears so imagine my surprise when I found myself in convulsions at some of this weeks antics!

Rather than run through the entire show I’ve decided to focus on a few of the participants and the reasons they stood out for me this week, but first a brief overview of the task that lay ahead. Choose two out of five urban artists to represent at a gallery evening. Sell as much work as possible to both private and corporate clients and the team with the highest commission at the end of the task wins.

From the beginning of the series I found that I wasn’t too keen on Adam as a potential winner but he has managed… and this doesn’t happen very often… to make me change my opinion of him entirely! He was an absolute star this week but in a very unexpected way. He played on his inexperience and naivety when looking at and selling the art work and this worked in his favour. He managed to outsell the rest of his team by adapting his market trader skills to become a great art dealer and the customers just lapped it up. Lord Sugar was also very impressed with his adaptability. I can see a potential winner all of a sudden!

Stephen was clearly going for the comedy angle this week and had a good few one liners. After visiting a few of the artists he had developed his own opinion on the character traits required to be successful in such a difficult industry and summed it up beautifully by saying they were ‘nutcases who have a bit of genius in them’. Gabrielle decided to have one of the artists attend and work live from the gallery floor to encourage customers to purchase work. Stephen agreed that this was a great idea but suggested that to add a little mystery; maybe the artist should work in a back room where nobody could see him. This was his take on thinking out of the box. Need I say more?

Tom… what can I say? He constantly looks like he is about to start sobbing his little heart out. Even when things were going his way his eyes sparkled not with joy but with what appeared to be unshed tears, somebody give this man something to smile about please. His quiet persona and deadpan voice made it difficult for him to appear excited about the artists and this did create problems when one of his preferred choices opted to go with the other team. During the sale, a customer who was clearly very interested in a large piece valued at £9000, started talking to Tom and explaining how he had the right spot for it and how he loved it and Tom immediately started to down-sell this potential customer. Pointing out that £9k is a lot to spend on a painting and suggesting that maybe he should go and look at some of the smaller pieces. Bravo Tom, playing a blinder as always.

Toms team lost the task with only just under £200 less profit than his competitors and he gallantly took the blame for choosing the wrong artist. Lord Sugar respected Toms risk taking, despite the fact that it didn’t pay off and spared him the dole queue, choosing to fire Laura instead. Despite pleas claiming that she is an extraordinary sales woman, the figures and her lack lustre performance proved otherwise.

Another week gone and another candidate fired, as we edge ever closer to the final I’m placing my bets on Adam and his cheeky cockney charm. Who would you put your money on?

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Laughing All The Way To The Banksy

As each team were asked to allocate project managers, the viewers were subjected to what can only be described as the most cringeworthy, brown-nose act ever aired on national television. Ricky Martin offered himself up as leader of Phoenix because, and I quote, ‘I want to do what Lord Sugar did’. Pass the bucket and fast. The rest of the team had other ideas and promptly voted for Nick. Does anybody else have an overwhelming desire to cut/brush/move the hair off Nick’s face?

Both teams split into two, with one half going to a chosen market stall and the other pitching up in a shopping centre. The highlight of the market stalls had to be Ricky and Stephen performing a mini street theatre centred around a mop. If you missed it, it’s worth taking a look on YouTube for that clip alone. On their own market stall, Adams experience and customer interaction skills were second to none. He really has the gift of the gab and could give Del-Boy a run for his money any day of the week.

Azhar, obviously taking Lord Sugar’s comments from last week on board, came out of himself a little more this week and started to voice his opinions when Jade made bad decisions. However, Azhar doesn’t exactly know how to speak to other people in a way that makes them listen and the sarcasm in his voice became more and more apparent with each suggestion that was ignored. He and Jade seemed to rub each other up the wrong way throughout the entire task. The only things missing from their little spats were name calling and face pulling, but then, we only see what’s on camera.

It wasn’t only Azhar that Jade ignored. When heading back to the wholesaler to replenish their dwindling stock pile, Jade was informed that the toy bugs were selling like hot cakes but instead of stocking up on such a popular item, Jade took the decision to buy a little more of everything. Nick and his team took the opposite approach and after selling out of fake tan, sent Ricky and Stephen to the warehouse with strict instructions to stock up on this very popular product.

The results relayed exactly what every viewer suspected. Jade’s team lost by just under £120. Immediately choosing Azhar as her first companion for the return trip to the boardroom, she seemed to stumble over her second choice. She chose Tom, then changed her mind, did a little more thinking and returned to her initial decision of Tom once more. Realising that Tom did nothing wrong in the task, Lord Sugar practically sent him straight back out of the boardroom by telling him that he was safe.

In my opinion, Jade should have been fired based on the fact that she seemed to have no idea what she was doing. Her strategy was the absolute definition of ‘winging it’ as she jumped from one mini crisis to another with only Tom to support her. Azhar made some very good and sensible suggestions but his huffing and puffing seemed to make Lord Sugars mind up and he was fired.

One of the highlights for me this week was realising that Lord Sugar seems to have branched out into the hit-man arena! How do I know this? The way in which he fired Azhar said it all really… ‘I am going to terminate your existence in the process…you’re fired’

Maybe it was Jade’s promise of a multi-million pound business partnership with Lord Sugar that swayed his decision, maybe it was just because he realised that firing another woman would leave the teams seriously uneven in the sex stakes, whatever the method behind his madness, it makes great TV and I for one can’t wait to tune in again next week!

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The Apprentice: Buying, selling & bottled tan

Team Stirling, led by Jenna, seemed to grasp the basic idea of the task and set about creating an Aberdeen Angus based casserole. They insisted on nothing but the highest quality ingredients to ensure the best possible product. Although Jenna did have one issue when it came to selling in Scotland…the language barrier. I bet many viewers thought they had misheard her when she asked Laura ‘Do people in Scotland speak a Scottish language?’ Really Jenna? And you want Lord Sugar to go into business with you? Don’t hold your breath!

Katie was adamant that selling Adams pasta and meatball dish at a football match would be a winning idea due to the large footfall. You would be forgiven for thinking that she has a good point with such large crowds frequenting high profile matches, however, there are few football fans willing to pay a steep £5.99 for a portion of pasta.

So with pasta and meatballs costing the team just 90p per portion and a gourmet casserole costing £1.54 the two teams hit the streets eager to make lots of sales and generate high profits.

With Jenna and her team making slow but steady sales in one location, Adam begins feeling the heat at the lack of sales from the footy fans until Stephen calls with some great news – he has managed to secure a deal with a local bus tour operator allowing them to pitch their meatballs to the customers and encouraging them to disembark and buy their lunch!  Who could have foreseen the uninterested response from the first bus load of potential customers or the fact that Stephen and the rest of the sub-team wouldn’t make it back in time to catch the next bus?

Bus idea abandoned they decided to try to generate sales on foot and created a discount deal.

Suffering with dwindling sales, Jenna takes the decision to move team Stirling to an alternative location and go head-to-head with an Aberdeen Angus burger van. The new pitch coupled with a price reduction seemed to do the trick and the team are once more busy with lots of customers complimenting the high quality of food and taking advantage of their multiple order discounts. Even with the final influx of sales Jenna still seemed concerned that their smaller margins had endangered their chance of taking victory.

The concern was still etched all over Jennas face when they entered the boardroom but the results contradicted her gut feeling and she led her team to victory with a profit of just under £22.

Adam seemed to suddenly turn on at least four of his fellow team members when it came to choosing who to bring back in with him but finally settled on Katie and Azhar. Katie was blamed for choosing the football location and the branding catastrophe whilst Azhar was accused of doing nothing at all.

This is where it becomes particularly interesting for me. Adam seemed to be suffering from word vomit and found it very hard to shut up whilst presenting his case to Lord Sugar and whilst Katie accepted the blame for the football location she denied responsibility for the branding mishap. What was Azhar saying during all of this? Very little.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Azhar seemed to come to life and very articulately explained that Adams greatest skill was passing all management decisions over to other team members, namely Stephen, and therefore wasn’t entirely responsible. Such a clever tactic! He appears to be defending his PM but in reality he’s laying all of the blame on Adams shoulders.

Lord Sugar has always stated that he could never work with someone who stays in the background and who doesn’t take risks during the task and yet it wasn’t Azhar who was shown the door but Katie.

Maybe the lesson to be learnt here is to blend into the background during the task and not worry about selling the product in question to the public but to concentrate on selling yourself to Lord Sugar in the boardroom. It’s a tactic that worked for Azhar as he lives to fade into the background for another day.

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The Apprentice: Haggis mash and meatballs

They were charged with developing a new fitness programme which they would then licence to fitness clubs around the UK. With three pitches set up for each team, they went their separate ways to begin planning.

It was a no brainer that Stephen Brady would led team Phoenix with his experience in the industry and ex heavy weight wrestling champion of the world Ricky Martin, took the helm for team Sterling.

Stephen and his team decided that retro was the way to go and decided to visit an eighties night club for some inspiration. You could practically see the drooling as the boys watched the ladies demonstrate some retro dance moves, but watching the lads practice those infamous dance moves from Thriller was more than a little uncomfortable, proving that some men will do anything to impress a woman.

Ricky decided to create a fitness routine which was a cross between mixed martial arts and dance. I ask you, what’s more unattractive than a cocky and over-confident Ricky Martin? How about a cocky, over-confident, sweaty Ricky Martin? There’s a reason that shirts aren’t worn in the boxing ring and Ricky proved why. Yuk.

The retro fitness programme was named Groove Train, a little cheesy but I can see the reasoning whilst Ricky named his martial arts and dance combination Beat Battle, a name that conjures up images of spotty teenage boys playing 80’s inspired computer games on a Commodore 64.

Then came the moment we all cringe, each team had to create a video of their routine to use when pitching to some of the UK’s biggest health club chains. When I hear that Apprentice candidates have to make any kind of video I can’t help but feel a little sick. I can’t remember a video or advert that looked anywhere near professional but to make it worse Stephen thought that adding Azhar In the smallest shorts ever produced would enhance the content of his. So you have a retro, multi-coloured dance floor, Azhar in tiny shorts and sweatbands and terrible, terrible acting…bring on the bucket.

I have to say that despite my dislike of Ricky’s cockiness, he was absolutely brilliant when it came to pitching. He was clear, concise and had an answer for every possible objection thrown at him unlike his opponent. Stephens pitches were more a winging it, make the answers up on the spot effort with equipment information changing with each pitch. We are still a little unsure whether the hula hoops, skipping ropes and space hoppers are included in the price or an added extra. I’m sure Stephen will figure it out one day.

The biggest surprise in the boardroom was that Ricky and his team lost the task with licence sales of £7,970 compared to £12,810 for the Groove Train team. Really? Virgin Active saw the routine as a good idea for the family market, an activity to be shared between mother and child. I’ll stick to trips to the park.

There were no major upsets in the boardroom this week, although Lord Sugar did question Rickys reasoning for bringing Duane and Laura back with him, especially as they had both done the jobs delegated to them and there were other members of the team that weren’t seen throughout the show. Eventually, the blame fell on Duanes shoulders and he was shown to the black cab waiting outside – sad really, I liked Duane.

Best part of this week has to be watching Karren Brady try to compete with Nick Hewer in the funny faces Olympics. Nick is the champion and always has been but judging by some of the spasms that appeared on Karrens face during the task, Nick may have a serious contender!

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Apprentice Week 5: Fit or fired

Their task was to buy and sell used furniture at a profit. Each team were given a shop to display and sell their stock from and as usual the team with the highest profit would be free to enjoy this weeks teat.

Project managers were Laura for team Sterling while Tom took charge of team Phoenix.

Toms plan was so spend as little as possible but Adam disputed this strategy leaning towards the stack ‘em high sell ‘em cheap philosophy. Also a believer of this philosophy was Laura who seemed compelled to spend as much as possible as quickly as possible. At no point did anybody appear to be holding a calculator or a notepad and pen totting up their expenditure or their forecast income. It just appeared to be a free for all shopping trip!

A pleasant return this week was the many faces of Nick Hewer, which so far this series seemed to be missing in action. I am thrilled as many an episode can be uplifted with just one or two grimaces, eyebrow lifts or squints of Nicks. A particularly good face was presented when he realised that Tom had given his sub-team just £200 to buy items for their shop and that they hadn’t asked for any extra cash.

Lauras team seemed more focussed on up-cycling furniture to create profit rather than buying items that were nice to begin with. In theory this could work well if there was enough time to dedicate to improving the aesthetics of the pieces however Gabrielle settled on painting everything red white and blue. Although the Union Jack design they settled on would be considered topical given the upcoming Jubilee, I doubt that this team has ever heard the phrase, less is more never mind implemented the theory.

A visit to the local car boot by Tom and his sub team saw Jade picking up various, uninteresting items and expressing interest in them. However her voice betrayed her. These were items she should have been excited about selling but judging by the monotone way in which she tried to convince Tom to buy them, she can’t have been that thrilled. She could have sent me to sleep with her boring attempts at trying to convince her PM that these pieces would be worth taking a bet on.

I particularly enjoyed the over use of the term shabby chic in team Sterling. The girls were telling the boys that they were to shabby chic this, shabby chic that and shabby chic the other. The boys clearly had no clue what this particular descriptive term meant and were left looking more than a little confused.

Once both of the shops were ready, it was hard not to instantly feel sorry for Tom and his sad looking stock pile. From the outside there appeared to be very little in terms of saleable items and the premises looked more than a little barren compared to their competitors brimming store.

Duane really shone for me this week, not because of his astounding sales skills or his confidence when putting himself forward for project manager for the second week running but for the sparkling way in which he can pull out some of those wonderful old sayings and add his own little twist. ‘Don’t look a gift horse in the eye’ has got to go down in history as one of the funniest sayings yet.

When it came to making sales during the day Jane was nothing short of abrupt, pushy and rude to any customer who had the misfortune of passing her way. We all hate pushy sales people but she wasn’t just pushy, she was patronising and generally vile when dealing with the general public. Is it any wonder that when the sales figures were revealed she had only managed to secure £10 in revenue for her team? She did a wonderful impression of that one sales person in each store that we go out of our way to avoid eye contact with and scurry past with our heads down.

The boardroom revealed that team Phoenix had won the task with an overall profit of £1063 compared to £783 from their rivals and Laura decided to bring Gabrielle and Jane back into the lion’s den (or should that be Sugars Lair?) with her.

This is where, yet again, the female candidates let themselves down. Every time there are just women in that boardroom, the volume levels are increased dramatically. Any class, decorum or decency immediately fly out the window and the women trapped around the desk begin shouting at each other. Men seem to be able to have sensible conversations in that very room so why does this seem like such an impossible task for women? It’s embarrassing and cringe worthy to watch. Come on ladies, have a little respectability.

Lord Sugar immediately removed Gabrielle from the firing line and was left with choosing between project manager Laura or super sales woman (sense the sarcasm) Jane. His initial speech led us all to believe that Laura was for the chop but much to the shock of the viewers, and even more so to Jane, Jane was sent packing.

With week five on its way and no real front runners in view, I wonder who will be next to hear those infamous words?

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Apprentice week four: From rags to riches

Team Sterling decided to create a pineapple chutney after appointing Duane as PM and team Phoenix agreed that a mass market table sauce would be the best bet with Katie at the helm. With each team splitting in two, one half leading the manufacturing and the other off to decide the branding, the fun began.

The biggest challenge at this point was to have samples ready almost immediately as Lord Sugar had arranged for each team to pitch to a high end Deli. Armed with their mass-market appeal table sauce Belissimo (note the spelling mistake) Phoenix completed a pretty good pitch and continued with the task at hand. Team Phoenix however found themselves arriving at their pitch with no samples for the buyers to taste. Why bother? Personally I would have either refused to go or I would have contacted the retailer to try and rearrange the meeting. Who in their right mind arrives at a pitch/tasting session with nothing to taste?? They thought describing the flavours would be adequate enough but let’s be honest; even if it tasted like death they would have sworn blind that it had the flavour of the heavens. It was nothing short of a complete shambles.

Team Phoenix, who up until this point seemed to be the winning team by a mile, struggled with their manufacturing. The sub team headed up by Ricky Martin (not to be confused with the writhing hip variety) made a complete hash of the main batch of sauce which resulted in the majority being left for the bin. This meant that when it came to selling, they only had just over 300 bottles available compared to over 600 for Sterling.

Quiet Michael made the decision that he should do the trade pitches for Phoenix and was totally incompetent. Katie had advised that they should sell to trade for no lower than £1.99 per unit but, after being offered £1.95 per unit by a local retailer Michael took the ‘executive decision’ to turn it down and walk away. In the real world fo pitching, where it’s more than likely thousands of units being pitched, that 4p difference can add up to a hefty sum and could understandably jeopardise an order but in a time limited situation, where every penny of sales count, you grab that opportunity and run! Michael showed not only his inability to make important decisions but also his lack of leadership right then.

The boardroom revealed that Sterling had won the task with a profit of over £1000 versus Phoenix’s profit of almost £600 so yet again, Katie is back in the boardroom, bringing with her Ricky and Michael.

Have you ever noticed how the word strategy is banded around the boardroom like it’s tea and biscuits? Well this week was no different. A constant barrage of comments regarding their strategy drove viewers insane, after all, it’s just a fancy word for plan and by the time these three were in front of Lord Sugar, they each had a different idea of the strategy they had been following.

I think I should make it clear here that I’m actually quite a fan of Katie, I think she could be the dark horse in this competition and I may possibly be a little biased but she carried herself very well in the boardroom, remaining calm (unlike the women before her), giving clear concise and sensible answers to each question and accusation laid before her. Ricky on the other hand was the complete opposite.

There are many men out there who consider themselves to be smarter than the average bear but Ricky really does think he’s something else! He made a point of stating that all good things that occurred during the task were entirely down to his leadership (does this include the excessive wastage and lack of products to sell Ricky?) and that all detrimental elements were on the shoulders of the other team members. Yeah, OK.

Lord Sugar had his work cut out this week with the two men in the boardroom, let’s face it, the show would be enhanced by the firing of both of them, but after deducing that he was unable to cope with the process the famous finger was pointed, the infamous words were uttered and Michael was gone.

I think Katie was saved because she recognised that in order to make up for the shortfall of product, she had to increase the RRP leaving a larger margin for profit. This pleased Lord Sugar but she was warned not to be back in the board again soon.

What will next week hold? Who knows but we can’t wait to find out!

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The Apprentice Week Three: A Saucy Bunch

The boys, led by Azhar, had two ideas. The first was essentially a composter to place on your kitchen counter and the second to revive the traditional rubber glove by adding scourers and sponges. The girls, led by Jane, sat in silence for quite a while before coming up with the idea of a bath screen to stop children splashing water everywhere and a tap cosy to cover bath taps and rest your feet or head on.

Both teams immediately set about researching the viability of their products by pitching them to focus groups. In time old Apprentice tradition, both teams went against public opinion by opting for the less popular inventions. This happens in every series and it drives me crazy! The whole aim of a focus group is to establish if there is a market for your idea. What’s the point in setting one up, explaining and pitching your product to simply ignore all feedback and carry on regardless?

The boys settle on the composter and the girls go for the bath screen. Now let’s just take a second to think about how much we would use either of these products. The composter is essentially nothing more than a bin full of rotting waste sitting up on your food preparation area and the splash screen could either be considered as a safety hazard, restricting parents access to their child, or just another faddy toy that’s used a couple of times before being discarded to the back of the bathroom cabinet. In my opinion, both of these products were completely useless.

The boys won the task with sales of 13,000 units against the girls 7,500 units and they were sent away for this weeks treat. This is where the fun really begins.

With all of the girls still in the boardroom the bitching begins. With every series of the Apprentice, the female candidates seem intent on proving to the male population of viewers that women in business are nothing short of a pack of banshees. I’m amazed Lord Sugar hasn’t yet gone deaf with the amount of shouting and arguing that takes place in that boardroom.

When questioned on her decision process for choosing the Splish Splash, Jane really struggled to explain herself in any logical way. Her reply was that she thought it was the best product and that her sub team agreed with her decision. At this point you must realise that her sub team consisted of Laura, the inventor of the product, Jenna, who couldn’t get her figures right and Maria who was partaking in forty winks at the time of the discussion.

Jane initially decides to bring Maria and Katie back into the boardroom based on the fact that, in her opinion, they contributed least, at which point Katie finally found her voice (hooray!) and disputed her decision. Jane seemed happy with her choice until Lord Sugar asked if that was her final decision and sensing that he was questioning her reasoning she quickly changed her mind giving Katie a reprieve and returning with Maria and Jenna.

Personally, I think Lord Sugar loses respect for any candidate who changes their mind at this point. This act does not show confidence in your own decision making, it simply demonstrates that you are eager to please regardless of your own opinion. Who would want to go into business with someone like that?

The thing that really strikes me about the final three in the boardroom is the difference in the way the sexes deal with the situation. In all past series of the show the men have tended to be more to the point and very focussed on task related issues. The women, and these three are no exception, make it a much more personal experience and not in a good way.

Yet again the claws come out and the girls start arguing. It came as no surprise to me to hear Nick Hewer refer to Maria as ‘shouty and noisy’. She had valid points to get across but the way in which she tried to do so showed her immaturity, which, is a shame as I’m a huge supporter of young women in enterprise.

The failure of the task was down to many different aspects, the product was awful, the pitches were dull and trying to get Amazon to purchase a million products with their initial order was just down right ridiculous but all of this stems from one person. The project manager is ultimately responsible for the performance of each team member. Managing other people can be difficult but in a situation like that you have to be able to not only manage others but also listen and take on board their input. Jane failed miserably when it came to each of these points. She ignored market research, suggestions from her fellow team members and more importantly her common sense when it came to making decisions.

It was a tough one to call this week as I wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if all three women had been fired, and to be perfectly honest I think it probably should have happened but in the end it was Maria who was fired based on the fact that Lord Sugar was unable to establish just how much she had contributed to the task.

When leaving the boardroom, the candidates usually say farewell to their unlucky team mate but yet again proving the personal level at which some women take business, neither of the remaining candidates said goodbye, shook her hand or even offered a cursory hug.

And we wonder why we aren’t always taken seriously in business. If these are the examples the viewing public are seeing then I’m not surprised.

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The Apprentice Week Two: Business or Personal?

The sixteen contestants, who were all highly confident in their introductory videos, enter the board room looking more than a little shaky, to learn that their inaugural task is a fairly simple one. Buy blank products, print anything they wish onto them and then sell them to the public at a profit. As usual, the team with the highest profit wins.

After establishing that it’s girls versus boys the teams head off to get started. The boys, team Phoenix, weren’t exactly forthcoming when it came to volunteering themselves for the role of project manager but after many awkward silences, Nick Holzherr offered himself up to a sea of congratulations and agreement.

At this point you can’t help but wonder why they didn’t call themselves team gutless. The girls, calling themselves team Sterling, instantly found Gabriella Omar volunteering for the role of PM.

With the official bits out of the way each team begin planning their strategy. Well, the boys plan a strategy and the girls just get going. Being serious for a minute, why would you go through such a grueling application process to then not be bothered enough to plan correctly? It’s moments like this that you find yourself questioning how some of the candidates made it this far.

Team Phoenix were very focused on the figures. They knew how much they wanted to spend, what their margin for each product was and how much profit they should come end up with when they reached the finish line. Organised? Very. However, being in possession of this valuable knowledge doesn’t mean anything when their designs were just so…I’m trying to think of a word that won’t offend readers…rubbish.

They planned to sell to tourists using the British theme but the terrible designs left a lot to be desired. The bag with the wording ‘This is a’ followed by a picture of a bus was one of the most pathetic and condescending things I’ve ever seen. In fact, I would have been more likely to buy one had they had ‘punch me’ written across them.

The lowest point for the boys came after making a trade sale. Before they had chance to relax, the buyer called them back and requested a refund due to the poor quality of the printing.

It’s just such a school boy error. If this is their way of displaying their business acumen then Lord Sugar should be very worried indeed. Quality control is a vital element when it comes to the manufacture of any product. Selling products that are under par give a bad impression of you and your business.

The girls sold well from their market stall but the sub team floundered when they got stuck in traffic heading for London Zoo. You could feel the tensions rising as Bilyana Apostolova seemed to take charge of selling at the zoo.

At this point I found myself wondering why the boys seemed to work so well as a team when it came to selling and yet the girls spent precious, limited time arguing over who would approach which family and criticising Bilyana for steaming ahead with the sales.

Why, when women are put into teams during this process, do they tend to compete against each other rather than work together? Yes there will only be one winner but to even get close to that end target you have to work together!

By the time the teams are called to the boardroom you can see the cracks starting to show in team Sterling, the boys however appear confident and united and the results reflect their demeanors. The boys win the task with an overall profit of £616.20 versus the girls £214.18.

Gabriella decided to bring Bilyana and Katie Wright back into the boardroom and this is when things really hot up. The responses to Lord Sugar’s questioning begin calmly enough with Bilyana simply talking far too much. If the woman had a mute button I would have taken great pleasure in pressing it.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Gabriella comes to life. In her VT she says ‘When it comes to business I will be like an animal and roar my way to the top’ and boy was she not kidding.

The cool, calm exterior that’s been displayed throughout the task is suddenly replaced with a wild eyed animal who is almost frothing at the mouth when replying to Bilyanas accusations.

Lord Sugar raises the point about Katie being too quiet and hiding behind others and we are left wondering whether this is the case or as she puts it ‘I let people underestimate me so I can blow them out the water’.

Good plan in theory but I watch wondering if she keeps it up for much longer, will she ever be given the opportunity to blow anyone out of the water.

The highlight of this weeks episode has to be the firing. Lord Sugar begins his final sentence with ‘I did say in my introduction that I didn’t want anybody to hide’ so we all sit watching, anticipating the moment when that famous finger is pointed towards Katie.

At this point Bilyana makes her fatal mistake. She speaks. Surely by now, everyone knows that this is Lord Sugars moment and that you need to keep your mouth shut (see earlier comment re mute button). So with a little begging to be saved, Bilyana may as well have called her own cab as it becomes clear that Lord Sugar has had enough and realises that having to deal with this woman for the next twelve weeks would be tantamount to sticking a chop stick in his ear. Katie is saved and Bilyana is fired.

There were many candidates that we didn’t really get to see much of this week so I’m looking forward to finding out more about each one. I think some of the bigger characters may be on the boys team but we’ll have to wait and see.

Week one of The Apprentice 2012 leaves us all begging for more, roll on week two!

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The Apprentice: Week One